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The North Pole Visits a Young Disabled Girl and her Family

Thanks to the great kindness of my friends Katy, Bill, and Dyhrddrdh Colby, my children received an early visit from the North Pole last night. River heard the bells coming up the stairs, and her eyes grew very wide; little Inara didn’t know what to make of it all (she was having trouble seeing last night), but she smiled a lot.

Father Christmas came in with laughter and mirth, and Mrs. Clause told my daughters stories of the workshops at the North Pole, of the difficulties of finding often-moving military families to make sure children receive their gifts (and the ingenuity of the polar elves in finding ways to make sure Santa reaches service children … hint: Elf on the Shelf may be coming with North Pole GPS included, to guide the sleigh in), and of congested air traffic above Chicago.

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River was delighted at Father Christmas’ pocket watch, as large as a bowl, which allows Father Christmas to set time back so that he can reach all the children before Christmas morning.

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Inara was quite sleepy — and was having a low-vision day — but she cuddled into Father Christmas’s coat, which felt to her like the best thing in the winter, and I think her smile may have warmed the hearts of the Clauses and their Chief Elf, too.

After a frantic and busy month, there was much joy in our household last night. I am thankful for great friends.

Father Christmas even brought us s’mores and cocoa, a gift for two stressed but blessed parents.

Bless you all. You made a beautiful young girl very happy, and her joyous sister and her weary but delighted parents very happy, too. Thank you for bringing Christmas to our home.

May this season be, for all of you, a time of peace and joy, of celebrating a holy birth and all things made new, new as a winter night made wondrous by a fall of snow and a chiming of bells high in the air.

Stant Litore

Stant Litore is a novelist. He writes about gladiators on tyrannosaurback, Old Testament prophets battling the hungry dead, geneticists growing biological starships, time-traveling hijabi bisexual defenders of humanity from the future. Explore his fiction here. And here is one of his toolkits for writers, and here’s another book where he nerds out about ancient languages and biblical (mis)translation. Enjoy!

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Why Christians Shouldn’t Ignore Derrida

Hello, friends. If this post interests you, please consider getting a copy of the book–Lives of Unforgetting (What We Lose In Translation When We Read the Bible, and a Way of Reading the Bible as a Call to Adventure). This puts food on my family’s table, and it makes me very happy to know the book is being read and used. Thank you for enjoying my posts!

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Now on to the post…

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crossMy fellow Christians, for the most part, tend to ignore the ideas of Jacques Derrida, but I am going to propose to you that deconstruction is a tool of considerable importance in devotional reading and biblical study. I don’t mean that it is the only useful tool, and I’m not wise enough to argue whether it is the most useful of all tools; I think we would benefit enormously, too, if we did more group reading in the form of lectio divina to learn simply to sit in the presence of God, we who are so trained now to instead run and spin in circles in the presence of Facebook. And I think Christians would benefit — and have begun to benefit — from looking into the Jewish rabbinical tradition and midrash reading. But deconstruction is also extremely useful to both religious and secular readers, and in America, deconstruction has been widely misunderstood and therefore dismissed.

I ask you to bear with me and hear me out before reaching judgment. This post has a lot to say, so it is going to be long. If you don’t have much time, I hope you’ll read what you can and bookmark it. I promise it will be fascinating and worth it.

To keep this post intriguing and illuminating, I am going to focus on just two ideas — the fallibility of human language and Derrida’s idea of a remainder. (For those who are well-acquainted with Derrida, this really is only going to touch on a tiny piece of the questions he proposed; it’s a first step. Otherwise this post would be as long as a book, or likely longer still. This post offers a tentative first date with Jacques, not a marriage.) Then I’m going to offer an interpretive reading of Genesis 1 for religious readers that, if you haven’t encountered these ideas before, may open new doors in your mind or heart (we’ll see).

Let’s go on an adventure.

Fallen Language and the Remainder

Derrida suggests that all language is fluid, indeterminate, and fallible. This is an idea that has since become ingrained in the humanities and the social sciences, but has been met with derision by the unlikely duo of analytical philosophers and religious readers, especially in America. In America, we have a tendency to assume that (a) after a bit of mental work you can identify, beyond doubt, the complete and final meaning of a written sentence, and (b) that everything can be expressed accurately in “common” language, or language that everyone can understand. Jacques Derrida ruffles our American feathers by suggesting that language is much more fluid and that the task of deriving fixed, absolute meaning from language is a task that can never actually be completed.

But while our feathers may be ruffled, I’d suggest that this is an idea that Christians can actually find a lot of sympathy with. After all, we have our story of the Tower of Babel, with its suggestion that the confusion of languages served the explicit purpose of distancing human beings from God and from building a tower to heaven and becoming like God, comprehending everything. We also have the theological hypothesis that everything in the universe is fallen, as humanity is, and subject to decay. Why should language itself be any different?

We know things get lost in translation from one language to another: the Greek agape suggests concepts that aren’t conveyed by the English word love and certainly aren’t conveyed by the Latin or French equivalents.

We also know that commonly assigned meanings to a word shift over time, sometimes rapidly; “condescend,” for example, used to be one of the most beautiful words in our language. It was often interpreted as “to step down with” someone into their moment of vulnerability, to lift them up on their feet and climb out of that moment together. But because of the way Victorian charities “condescended” to the poor, that word began to suggest very different (and far more negative) meanings to us. The meaning of words doesn’t stay fixed.

Even at the exact same moment in time, the meaning of a word shifts depending on who is speaking it and where and to whom. Forgive me for writing such an incredibly ugly word, but the word “nigger” means something very different depending on whether a black man is saying it to another black man, a black woman is saying it to a black man, a black man is in heated conversation with a white man, or a white man is saying it to a black man. And when I write it in this post, reducing it to an object example, the significance of the word is different, again, from all of the diverse cases I mentioned a moment ago. The meanings that word suggests to the one hearing it shift dramatically, not across time but from one speaker (one interpreter) to the next, from one situation to the next. This flummoxes some white Americans, who simply don’t “get” why the word suggests different meanings when a black man says it than when a white man says it. This empirically evident situation frustrates the commonly-held white American belief that the meanings of words are mostly fixed, easy to understand, and can be depended on reliably. “I said what I said, and I meant what I meant” — that’s a very American sentiment that, to our frequent confusion, doesn’t tend to hold up very well in practice.

We also know that things frequently and regularly get lost in translation in both spoken and written conversations, even between people with the most similar backgrounds, beliefs, and values. How many times have you been misunderstood over email or on social media?

The meaning of words doesn’t stay fixed; it isn’t absolute, out there in some ideal space, something that we can refer back to. The meaning of words, Jacques Derrida cautions us, is something that is constructed in the moment, by the hearer, based on the context, the speaker, the inter-relationships between different words and phrases, the relationships between different ideas, and what the hearer notices or fails to notice.

Derrida would suggest that what’s happening in these cases is that when we interpret communication that is conveyed in words, we are constructing the meaning, the interpretation, in that moment. And constrained as we are by our context, by the influence of other moments in which we’ve encountered similar words and ideas, by our knowledge of the language, by our own values and views, by our opinion and understanding of the writer or speaker, and by many things, when we construct that interpretation we always leave something out of our interpretation. There is something we neglect to consider. Some remainder that is left over after we’ve constructed the meaning of the word, sentence, or chapter we just read. That’s how we get an interpretation — we focus on something and exclude other things.

Reading Humbly

Deconstruction (which has seemed either so scary or so absurd to many Christians) is a way of reading. It can be very playful and also very intelligent, but at its heart, it is a stance of humility toward the written word. It means that a reader approaches a text (biblical or otherwise) and starts with these realizations:

  • The interpretations others have offered for this text have left something out. There is a remainder.
  • If I find what was left out, that finding will deconstruct the established interpretation. It will take that interpretation apart, to one degree or another.
  • If I find what was left out, I might discover so much through this text that I never noticed before. There will be opportunity for a deeper understanding and another interpretation.
  • However, my new interpretation will also be fallible, because I am also leaving something out. Language is fallible, so while I may understand more or differently, my new understanding can also be deconstructed.

This might sound alarming to some Christians, because you could take this to mean, “We will never finally know what this passage ‘means.'” But that’s a pretty arrogant response, one that assumes that to approach God, we need to fully understand and comprehend his word, completely, without mistakes, and one that assumes that it is actually possible for us to do that. Of course, God sets no requirement that we fully comprehend him. And it is the height of absurd pride to think that we can. Admittedly, it’s a very American way of thinking — we don’t like to exist in what the Catholic mystics called “the cloud of unknowing,” we don’t like to approach God (or anything) in the dark, and we really, really like to have definitive answers. When we don’t have them, we get frustrated. (And when we do have an interpretation that seems good to us and someone approaches us and deconstructs that interpretation, it may annoy us enormously, or even appear threatening to us. We simply don’t like having our interpretations deconstructed. We are often either proud of our interpretations or very reliant on them.)

In fact, that’s one reason a lot of American Christians have a reactionary stance toward science and deep skepticism about scientists’ ability to uncover useful and reliable knowledge for us. There is a perception that scientists are constantly “changing their answers,” and this appears to annoy us to no end. But of course they are, because they’re constantly testing what they’ve learned, uncovering new evidence, deconstructing a previous theory or interpretation, and arriving at a deeper understanding of the natural world and how and why it works. That new understanding may also be fallible if there is evidence that it left out — if, in Derrida’s terms, there’s a remainder that didn’t get noticed or considered. Newton’s interpretation of how the universe worked was a pretty deep and effective interpretation…until Einstein suggested that something was left out. The effective scientist (and I’m not talking about media personalities, I’m talking about people running experiments in labs) has a relatively humble perspective; like the poet Goethe, the scientist’s heart starts with Many things I know; yet many things I do not understand — and then goes on to add, But it’s going to be so fun and rewarding to step into the space I don’t understand, ask questions, test what answers I get, and learn more.

In religious reading, we sometimes forget that there is a humility and even a joy in looking deeper, in looking for what was left out, in finding the remainder, in approaching the word with the base assumption that our interpretation is going to be fallible. That doesn’t have to be a scary thing. It can be a position that glorifies God and humbles man.

This is Very Similar to How Jesus Read

In What Would Jesus Deconstruct? the radical theologian John Caputo makes an intriguing observation: Jesus, in the gospels, tends to read the Old Testament deconstructively. In fact, only on rare occasions does Jesus make definitive interpretive statements about the Old Testament (which is striking, because in the tradition of Christian theology, he may indeed be the one person in history who might claim a right to do so).

Instead, Jesus constantly asks questions and tells stories — often stories where the ending is left out (as in the case of the Prodigal Son and the Good Samaritan) and the audience or the reader is left with a riddle or a question for interpretation. Will the older son join the father and the younger son in that forgiveness banquet? The audience, many of them uncomfortably in the position of the older son, needs to address that question. (If you want to take a closer look at that example, Tim Keller’s Prodigal God gives a fresh exploration of it.) Looking at the priest, the levite, and the Samaritan, which of these was the man’s neighbor? A Jesus parable is like the opposite of an Aesop’s fable: where Aesop closes with a moral, Jesus closes with a question or a riddle. It’s his method. His stories invite his listeners to deconstruct their previous understanding of how the world works, how God works, and how they could work.

The other thing that we see Jesus do when he teaches is continually deconstruct established interpretations by pointing out the remainder. The Pharisees in the gospels put a great deal of stock in working out, in exactitude and in fine detail, what is meant in the levitical law. They, like today’s American readers, really like to have definite answers, and to have definite answers that don’t shift when you have your back turned. Jesus really, really pisses them off, because he upsets that stability, charging into their interpretations and overturning them as abruptly as a man flipping over tables and whipping moneychangers out of the temple.

Here’s an example. The priests and the scribes notice that Jesus’s disciples are gathering wheat to eat on the Sabbath. The Sabbath is serious business in the Old Testament. So they challenge Jesus on this: You claim to be a religious teacher, so why are your disciples gathering up wheat as they walk through this field?

Jesus responds not with a direct answer but by deconstructing their interpretation of the laws about the Sabbath. You’ve left something out, he says. Don’t you remember the moment in the Old Testament when David took holy bread from the tabernacle on the Sabbath? What can we learn from that moment? “Man is not made for the Sabbath; the Sabbath is made for man,” he tells the religious thinkers of the day. That is the remainder, a really big idea that they left out while they were focused on other details.

That’s what deconstruction does: it challenges you with the possibility that in focusing on some things, you might actually be leaving out big things. In Christianity, we believe that the scripture is God-inspired. But Scripture is written down and translated by fallible people in flawed and imperfect language (if you have ever tried to express your love or express extreme grief in words, you know how extremely limited a technology language actually is, though I am extremely thankful that we have it), and the interpretation of Scripture is likewise developed by mortal, fallible, fallen human beings.

It always leaves something out.

Jesus, in the gospels, kept pointing out that remainder, again and again. He also pointed out that when you arrogantly assume that your interpretation is final and that there is no remainder, that has real-world and dangerous ramifications. You make big mistakes. You start to leave people out. You judge when it is God’s role alone to judge, and sometimes you judge unjustly. The letter kills, and the spirit gives life, Paul tells us. Following the spirit of the text is about humility, about approaching scripture not with the intent of arriving at a definitive and final answer, but with the intent of encountering the heart of God and having your assumptions, whether prideful ones or lazy ones, shaken up — because God sees so much more than we do.

Let’s Do Some Deconstruction, Right Now, and See if it’s Useful

Maybe this all sounds a bit abstract and academic. In fact, that’s another reason we tend to ignore deconstruction or regard it as suspect — it looks to us, sometimes, like a bit of an academic game.

Christians have often, throughout history, been accused of that same abstraction. (Remember the angels dancing on the head of a pin?) Philosophers have, too. And as American readers, we regard abstract ideas with especial suspicion. We like things that can be boiled down in simple and concrete terms.

But it is fundamental to Christianity that abstract ideas and beliefs have profound impact on real lives and real actions and motivations. This is not a stance that’s foreign to us; it’s central.

Let’s do a quick experiment to see deconstruction in action; then we’ll be better able to judge if it has something to offer in religious reading.

Let’s read Genesis 1 and start with a humble stance that when we’ve read it previously, we left something out. Let’s take that as a given — just for this experiment. And so let’s approach the text looking attentively for what we left out before. In doing so, we may not arrive at a definitive and final interpretation, but we may gain deeper insights into the heart of God. It might waken our hearts and minds. It is worth doing.

When I read Genesis 1, I notice 3 things that usually get left out. There are more, and there are also things I am leaving out. My reading is fallible. The language that I’m reading is fallible. The language in which I’m sharing these observations is fallible and unfixed, and much will be lost in translation when each of you reads this. There are things I haven’t noticed at all. But those 3 things I did notice are pretty huge things, and they challenge me to pray and ponder.

Here are 3 things that some contemporary, American Christians have left out when they read that text:

1. Bara

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.”

An interpretation of this was offered in the fourth century, and we have rarely bothered to look deeper since; we just read the way people in the fourth century did. They suggested the idea of creatione ex nihilo — creation of the universe from nothing. This was because the Greek and Latin words for creation are words for making and because the idea of ex nihilo was very attractive to Roman thinkers, who liked to focus on power and authority as divine attributes, even at the risk of forgetting about other attributes.

Let’s assume something was left out. What?

The next verse got left out. “The earth was without form and waste.” The Hebrew word that I just substituted “waste” for connotes a dry and empty desert; in Latin and English translations, the word’s meaning shifts around like stones sliding down a slope. For example, we often see this translated “void.” But while the Hebrew word suggests emptiness and dryness, it’s empty like a desert, not empty like blank space.

That isn’t nothing. A desert isn’t nothing. It is just, in this verse, a dry waste without life and without form.

That intrigued me. I looked into some research that’s been published on this passage (there has been some vigorous conversation about it in recent years), and I also studied the etymology of bara, the Hebrew word here that we translate create. In other words, the people whose work I was reading had noticed something that got left out and I launched an investigation into it (albeit a small one).

Bara doesn’t mean making something out of nothing. It suggests taking an object that is without use or purpose and creating out of it a new object that has purpose, use, and beauty. For example, when you take a reed and carve holes in it and turn it into a flute, you are doing the kind of creation that is bara. When you take a rock and make a statue, that is bara. When you take twelve people of diverse classes, traditions, and motivations, and weld them into a team of apostles, that is bara. When you take dust and form it into a human being and breathe life into it, that is bara. When you take cells that are not a fetus and develop them embryonically into a fetus in the womb, that is bara. Bara is taking raw materials and making out of them something of purpose and beauty.

This isn’t even a new interpretation, just one that’s been largely forgotten and is now less popular. John Milton, when he wrote Paradise Lost, described God making the universe out of “his dark materials.” (That phrase His Dark Materials became the title of Philip Pullman’s recent fantasy series that has prompted such controversy.) Milton was reading his Old Testament in Hebrew; in fact, some accounts suggest that he had the Old Testament memorized in Hebrew, which staggers my mind if it is true; I haven’t checked. Regardless, he was more familiar with the possible nuances of the word bara than most.

Physicists will inform you that we are all made out of stardust. The atoms in us and in everything we see are the same atoms that burned at the heart of the first stars in the universe. Once reduced to “dust” (or, rather, component atoms), these no longer had any purpose or beauty or use. But we, and the other things we see, that have been remade from those atoms, from those “dark materials,” do or can have purpose and beauty and use.

Take a moment and just ponder the ramifications. Creatione ex nihilo (creation out of nothing) and bara (taking raw materials and shaping them into something purposeful and beautiful) are very different concepts. One of these is about emphasizing God’s power. The other emphasizes purpose. One emphasizes what God can do, while the other is briefly suggestive of how and why God does things. If you are a religious reader, this has some big implications.

2. Called

The other thing that sometimes happens in America when we read Genesis 1 is that we get completely focused on the first verse, as if that is the only verse in the chapter that matters. The question of creation takes up our whole mind; we’re anxious about it. So we get lost focusing all our attention on one thing, and we miss other things that may be just as or more important.

For example, as John Caputo notes in his book The Weakness of God, “created” isn’t the only verb that gets repeated several times in Genesis 1. “Called” and “said” get repeated, too. God calls the world into being — an idea that later gets repeated often in the Psalms.

In fact, look at what does get spoken first in Genesis 1: “Let there be light.”

That isn’t a command. That isn’t the imperative voice. That isn’t the same as, “Light, be!” That’s “Let there be light.” Subjunctive voice. It’s a call, a suggestion, a strong request.

What if, in bara creation, God took the raw materials of the universe and called them to be something of purpose and beauty? What if God is like Isaiah and John the Baptist’s “voice crying out in the wilderness,” calling us to change the world? What if God is, sometimes, a still, small voice that approaches us not with a command but with a call? Elijah hears the still, small voice say not “Elijah, get your butt back into action,” but calling him, “Elijah, what are you doing here?” God walks through the garden in the evening calling for Adam. Jesus calls the disciples. Today, we talk about having “a calling.” God calls Samuel into his presence in the middle of the night. And so on. The Bible is full of calling. In fact, the whole idea in the New Testament of the reformation of the heart is that God takes a heart that has become a wasteland and calls it to purpose, justice, love, and faith. “Grace” isn’t just that God forgives; it’s that he remakes, in a bara sense. He calls us and begins to make us into something new and beautiful.

Just as a Christian might imagine God taking stardust and forming it over time into planets and trees and people, we might think of God taking fallen hearts and calling them to be something new. That is continuing the work of creation and calling that we see in Genesis 1. “Let there be light.” “Let there be waters above the waters.” “Let there be living things.” And so on. That’s God standing at the edge of a formless waste and calling forth life. That’s Jesus standing on the waters calling Peter out of the boat. That’s Christ calling to a desolate heart.

It’s not a command. We can always ignore it. It’s a call. John Caputo would call it a persistent and insistent call, one that can be refused but one that sometimes gets inside us and gets more and more difficult to ignore.

And that idea of “calling” — that big idea that may be core to God’s work of creation described throughout Scriptures, that may even be very core to the Christian faith — gets left out of most of our readings of Genesis 1. Often, when we’re done reading about creation and we finish constructing our understanding of what we’ve just read, that idea of “calling” is one remainder, left over and forgotten.

3. Tzelem Elohim

Here’s another. This is one that the Jewish tradition has not left out; in rabbinical reading, this one is central. But Christian readers often glide past it without really focusing attention and really taking it in. And this one has huge, everyday, real-world implications. We can’t afford to just leave it out and let it be a remainder.

In Genesis 1 we find that we are created tzelem elohim, “in the likeness of God.” In fact, we find that all people, “male and female,” are made in the likeness of God. Paul later comments on this when he tells the Galatians that there is no male or female, no slave or master, no Jew or Greek, no hierarchy or system of classifications in God’s eyes; we are all loved, we are all made in God’s likeness.

That’s a really Big Idea. In fact, if you think about the time in which Genesis was written down, the idea we usually focus on — that God was creating the world — wasn’t a big idea. Almost everyone living in the Near East at that time took it for granted that a deity or deities had created the universe. What would have been a bigger issue is how the world was created (bara) and why (calling) and what kind of world got created. When we get so focused on whether or not God created the world, our attention gets so narrowed that we miss many of the big things that the story may have been addressing.

The ancient Hebrews didn’t miss it. They wrestled with tzelem elohim. In fact, they had an incredibly hard time with it. They lived in a world that was prior to Greek thought and prior to Christian ethics and prior to Talmudic teaching and prior to the Pax Romana and prior to democratic representation and universal suffrage and prior to modern views of slavery. They lived in a world of near-constant warfare, raiding, and violence, a world in which tribes and nations constantly had to protect themselves or attempted to conquer others and harvest their resources (which, for the ancients, meant land, herds, labor, and women). It was also a world with very little restraint; our world still has little restraint, but theirs had less. There was no United Nations. There was no Geneva Convention. There was nothing to prevent one tribe from kidnapping and raping and marrying the women from another tribe — nothing except for either a rival show of force … or a powerful and widely accepted idea.

Let me tell you a story.

Prior to the High Middle Ages, before the Crusades, in the handful of centuries after Rome’s fall that we often poetically refer to as “the Dark Ages,” Europe was a political mess. Roaming tribes, mercenary troops, and local warlords all churned against each other in decentralized and violent conflict over land and other resources. The Catholic Church was an institution that, at the time, did not have the wealth or the political power that it later did; but it did wield significant influence nonetheless, because people gave credence to the Church’s claims of moral authority and representation of God’s will on earth. There were several Popes who attempted, in this climate, to take Jesus’s words about peace and apply them to the real world. They looked at their increasingly violent and chaotic continent, and tried to suggest restraints. Flawed ones, the best they could think of at the time. For example, there was the Pax Dei or “Peace of God,” where a Pope declared immunity for unarmed noncombatants like peasants and clergy. Essentially, the Pax Dei suggested, “Ok, you’re going to fight and kill and slaughter each other, but God says that unarmed villagers and clergy are immune; you cannot kill them in the course of combat.”

This did not always work very well.

That is probably no surprise.

But when at first you don’t succeed, you try, try again. So the Church later came up with the Treuga Dei, or “Truce of God.” This declared that there must be a ceasefire on all holy days. (And, not entirely by coincidence, the Church around this time established a lot of holy days and saint’s days.) This worked a little — but not always. Still, it had an impact, limited as it was. It echoes down the years through European tradition even into the twentieth century; there are cases in which temporary ceasefires have been declared over the Christmas holiday, as in the case of the Brits and the Germans in World War I. But obviously, this does not always happen.

Why did I tell this story? Because it provides a parallel to a project that the ancient Hebrew, levitical priesthood may have attempted around three thousand years ago.

Leviticus and Deuteronomy are immensely well-read books in Jewish traditions of reading, and Jews read these books very differently than anyone else does (and, in many cases, more intelligently, but that’s a topic for this other post to cover). Christians and secular Americans tend to ignore these books to the extent possible. Christians either choose not to read them (much) because they’re “dry” and because the topics addressed in the levitical code are so unsavory (rape of female war captives, for instance), or they may put strong emphasis only on selected passages (like the sentence about gay sex, for example). Secular readers tend to either withdraw from these texts in horror or seize on them as evidence of the latent evil in religion. (“See what your Bible says to do! It says to rape and commit genocide!” That is a comment I have heard quite often.)

Neither of these are very useful or informed approaches. They rely on a glib reading of levitical code as absolute, timeless instruction for religious readers, and by reading in that narrow way, they miss so much that’s important.

Suppose that you were part of a levitical priesthood three thousand years ago, living in the world we just described: roaming tribes coming into frequent conflict, cities being burned and rebuilt and burned again, ubiquitous slavery (which, for the ancients, was their alternative to genocide; they hadn’t yet come up with a third or fourth option for dealing with conquered peoples, to every historian’s sorrow; and one has only to look back at what was done to the Native Americans to realize that some of the third and fourth options we did come up with eventually were also atrocities), and the widespread capture and enslavement of foreign women. It was not, by modern standards, a very kind or just world. It was a mess. (I say “modern standards” to describe what we today expect, not what we have; we can probably each cite a number of occasions on which the “modern” world has proven as bad or worse.)

Now suppose that your priestly community is undertaking the long project of establishing and improving a legal code that you want twelve diverse tribes to adhere to and obey. There are appointed judges, there are now some rudimentary systems for trials and gathering witnesses, and you’ve taken a set of 10 proclamations (that you preserve on stone tablets, to last for all time, because stone is pretty durable) and a set of ethical propositions that are ascribed to divine origin, and you work out a system of over 600 laws. That’s pretty complex for that time. And those laws order and organize many facets of life, from agriculture (how long to leave a field fallow, for instance) to violent disputes (we’ll establish places of refuge where a fugitive and can flee for safety and demand a trial, and if their angry pursuer enters those places and kills the fugitive, that is an offense before God and an abomination) and combat (what restraints will we put around the treatment of war captives?).

Actually, why put any restraints at all?

Well, because the statements your God is recorded as having made (all human beings, male and female, are made in God’s likeness; the sabbath must be kept holy; blood spilled unjustly defiles the land, and the land must be kept holy; keep yourselves a people set apart, a just people; shelter the stranger in the land) are pretty radical, and you are tasked with somehow translating these religious and ethical precepts into actual laws and courses of action for your tribe.

If all people, male and female, are made in the likeness of God, what are the implications?

It means if I look in the eyes of another, I am looking into the eyes of another person who bears the image of God. That is a holy thing.

What does that mean for our tribe, which regularly takes women captive after a conflict? What if those women, too, are made in the likeness of God and have irreduceable and intrinsic value as God-created human beings?

If the spirit of your law is that we are all made in the image of God, the letter will be a flawed, real-world attempt to wrestle that into practice at a specific time, under specific conditions. The regulations we record in the Old Testament can be interpreted and read as just such a flawed attempt to put that spirit into practice in a world very different from our own. Deuteronomy 21 doesn’t say, unfortunately, “Don’t take women captive,” perhaps because no one thought of it or perhaps because taking women captive was too desirable in that culture, or perhaps because no one would actually have obeyed such a prohibition and there would have been no power to enforce it. Just like with the Pax Dei, the man holding the spear could simply laugh at your law and do as he pleased.

But maybe you can apply some restraints and give those restraints religious significance — warn the man that he must “fear God” and observe God’s ways. If that woman who is now a captive, who has witnessed and will suffer atrocities, is truly made in the likeness of God, then she cannot be treated trivially, the way one might, for example, treat a jewelled necklace that one has seized from the burning city, using it immediately or selling it to someone else for a high price. A woman and a jewelled necklace are not the same. There are no feminists in the ancient levitical priesthood — just men wrestling with the concept that a woman is made in the image of God. If that’s true, they propose, then you cannot simply seize her and then rape her. You must recognize, on some level, her humanity. You must grant her one month to mourn for her parents whom you have killed. You may not “go in to her” at that time. You may not force her to wear cosmetics or pretty clothes or show her off as a trophy to the other men, either. You must permit her the mourning customs of the time — shaving the head, wearing clothes of lament. Providing that month to a war captive becomes a law. It also might give the man who has seized her time to consider her slowly, to notice her weeping, time for her to speak to him and appeal to his empathy, time for the initial feeling of triumph and lust to dull and some empathy to develop. Or it might not; that could well be a too-comfortable illusion, something I would prefer to think because the idea of inflicting such suffering on others without empathy disturbs me deeply. As a father of two daughters, that kind of situation is barely comprehensible to me, and I am ill-equipped to understand it. So I must guard against wishful thinking. The likely fact is, that woman is eventually going to be raped and abused. It remains an atrocity.

But the levites make the attempt at restraint, just as the Catholics do with their Pax Dei. There must be some restraint. You must allow the captive her time of mourning. You must recognize her human need to grieve. And when you have, in the end, done as you will, if you then tire of her, the levites say, you mustn’t do any of the things that a tribal warrior three thousand years ago is most likely to do. You may not sell her to another or “treat her as a slave” — she is still a woman made in the image of God. “Let her go where she pleases,” the priests say. The levitical code tries to put in place some protections for these women, because they, too, bear God’s image. A war captive in 1100 BC is not the same as a seized ewe or cow. She has the right to grieve. She cannot be sold or kept as a menial work slave. Horrifyingly, many terrible things can be done to her, but not those things.

As with the Pax Dei and the Treuga Dei, I am a bit skeptical that the levitical regulations and restraints actually worked all that often.

This has been a long tangent, though I hope it has been interesting. The point is that the Hebrews who began writing what eventually became recorded as the Old Testament wrestled with tzelem elohim and with other statements that the priests said God had made. These ideas did not jive well with the circumstances of their world, in which top tribal priorities were often keeping the tribe pure from outsiders and gathering more resources.

Today, we typically choose to just ignore passages like the one we just examined (or we take them as literal instruction for us, and then we are justly offended or horrified). But there’s a way of reading (one that Conservative and Reformed Jews do, and that Christians arguably should do) where you look for the spirit of the text, and learn from watching the ancestors wrestle with how to put that spirit into action. As Paul is careful to note, the deeply flawed levitical code is not law for us; it is an ancient example that these issues need to be wrestled with. It is useful and instructive in that sense because those of us who are religious need to wrestle with tzelem elohim today, too, even as the levitical priests once did, and under cultural and political pressures that are different but no less difficult. Will we look into the eyes of children caged on the US/Mexico border and say, “These children are made in the likeness of God, human beings even as our own children are, and we must find a way to treat them accordingly.” Reacting to the Ferguson riots, a young woman told her mother (in the hearing of an author friend of mine at an airport in Florida), “Mamma, they’re animals. They’re just animals.” Well, no, they’re not. Whatever cultural drives or prejudices prompted her conclusion, it is incompatible with tzelem elohim. “They” are not “animals” in the sense that the young woman probably meant the word; they are human beings made in the image of the divine.

How does tzelem elohim affect the way we look at the violence in Ferguson, or in the Near East? These are uneasy questions that we are called to address — because right at the very start of the Bible, this is one of God’s first pronouncements, and one that the rest of the Bible continues to wrestle uneasily with. If we are religious readers, when we turn to Genesis 1, we can’t overlook it. We can’t leave it as a remainder.

Approaching the Word like Little Children

To recap: Deconstruction is the practice of taking apart our current understanding of what we’re reading, looking closely at the parts, and identifying what we’ve left out. A deconstructive reading opens our eyes to potentially important things we’ve missed. That’s why it’s not a mere academic exercise, and that’s why it can be really important (and useful) to Christians, who probably should be starting anyway from the base assumption that our current understanding is limited, that it’s prideful to “lean” unquestioningly on our own understanding, and that our language and our interpretations are necessarily flawed, fallen, and incomplete. When we are willing to deconstruct what we think we know and look for the remainder that our previous interpretation left behind, we find things like bara creation. We learn more deeply that God, from the beginning, has been calling the universe into life, purpose, and goodness, and expecting the universe (and us) to respond. And we are reminded that tzelem elohim stands at the very beginning of the Word and then resonates and troubles the rest of the Bible. Not only should we not just glide blithely by it; it could be central to how we choose to live out a life of “loving our neighbor.” If our only takeaway from reading Genesis 1 is to reinforce the established interpretation that it is all about the fact that God created the universe (and, to some minds, how long it took him to do so), we are missing so much of what’s there in Genesis 1, and so much that may be incredibly important to our lives, to our actions and values.

The purpose and function of deconstruction isn’t to destroy. It’s to take apart a flawed interpretation (which, because it’s flawed, might miss opportunities or even be dangerous). You might then reconstruct, developing a new interpretation that takes into account and is partly shaped by the remainder you’ve noticed. But, because you are a flawed human being using flawed, fallen language, it would be wise to realize that your new interpretation is also tentative and also deconstructible.

The interpretations I’ve shared above as examples are tentative and deconstructible. I am convinced that I have left things out. And I will look for those things when I read the text again or the next time I discuss it with someone. In fact, just now I’ve spotted something I missed in my thought-experiment with Deuteronomy 21. Those words “let her go where she pleases” are pretty vague. Her city might be burned to the ground; where will she go? Is she going with, or without, provision? Is she being simply abandoned? Is this one of the passages that Jesus responds to in the gospels, deconstructing the Pharisees’ teachings on divorce and arguing that it is a great injustice in the eyes of God to put one’s wife away (remember that Jesus was speaking to a century and a culture that had not yet invented alimony and in which employment for unmarried women barely existed, other than prostitution). Or is this passage unrelated to that? Perhaps some rabbinical scholar has explored the passage and can point me toward a new reading. Or perhaps I can look at the Hebrew words that we translated “let her go,” and there may be clues there. I don’t know what I would find if I looked into it; I don’t even know for certain whether I would find something useful; I would have to try and then see. It is just clear that this is something I have left out of my reading. I probably left other things out, too, and the reading I’ve given necessarily stands on shaky ground.

If we approach the Bible (or any other written text) with a willingness to deconstruct our previous interpretation, that is a humble act and may even be, for the religious among us, a devotional act. It is a way of letting go of our desire to master God and his word, and instead open ourselves to encountering God’s heart and his word anew, each day. It is a way of letting go of either our pride or our desperate need for certainty and saying, “God, I will not lean today on my own understanding. Before you, what I think I know is insignificant. I am going to approach your word and your kingdom like a small child, with questions and new eyes and a willingness to notice things for the first time. God, what do you want me to notice today?”

Stant Litore

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Want to read more? Get Lives of Unforgetting: What We Lose When We Read the Bible in Translation, and Way to Read the Bible as a Call to Adventure.

Book Cover - Lives of Unforgetting: What We Lose in Translation When We Read the Bible by Stant Litore

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“On No Night of This World”: A Quiet War with Depression

Really fighting depression this week. But I wrote a story for times like that, and I will share a piece of it with you.

Polycarp sobbed quietly as he rested on the mute stones, listening to the heavy paws and the wheezing breaths of the thing in the alley. Despair had come to visit him, as it had often done in the years since he came to Rome; each time, it was a little harder to send the beast away. Most often he heard the tread of its paws on nights such as this, after an encounter with the dead.

You are old, the creature whispered. You are old, Polycarp. And there are too many hurts to heal. You are not sufficient for this task.

“My master is sufficient,” Polycarp murmured, too tired even to feel revolted at the grime he felt against his lips as they moved.

But you are here, and he isn’t.

No. Polycarp braced his hands against the stones. I am his hands, his feet. I must stand up.

He swayed a moment, looking out at the tumbled bodies. In a moment of wild imagining, he pictured them placing their hands to the street, even as he was doing, and lifting themselves up. Not as slouching, unsteady dead, but as the living called back. Called back. Any spirit could be called back.

Go away, he told the behemoth. I have no need of you and no time to listen to you, nor to the Adversary who sends you. You are unwanted here, as unnecessary as these bodies, these empty shells that carry no life.

The creature Despair did not fall silent, but Polycarp kept it now at the edge of hearing. He needed to reflect on what had happened in this alley. How severely it had tired him, how vulnerable it had left him. He needed to pray, and think, without the pollution of Despair’s whispered enticements.

That is from What Our Eyes Have Witnessed: https://stantlitore.com/product/what-our-eyes-have-witnessed/

And where a story won’t do, an illustration might. This illustration of a twenty-fifth century Muslim botanist holding in her hands a seed of the first alien vegetation to be discovered by humanity and contemplating the brevity of life…makes me feel strangely at peace, when I am waging my quiet little war with depression. The image is from Ansible: Season One: https://stantlitore.com/product/ansible-season-one/

Illustration

I have said before that my writing isn’t a vocation; it is an act of survival. There is some truth to that.

I wrote this, a while ago, about that quiet war:

I am wrestling with bouts of depression lately, the worst that I’ve endured in many years. The same memories and lies and half-lies and half-truths, again and again, in the ears of my heart: You aren’t able to keep your daughter safe. You aren’t able to provide for all of your family’s financial needs. You are a failure. You are alone. You are unloved. You have no impact or point. You are worthless.

Mostly lies. These past three years have been hard, and I feel the fatigue of it. My wife is ill most of this year; we’ve been in and out of the hospital again for Inara; the financial struggles have been as hard as they’ve been unanticipated; not all my projects have been as successful as I would have liked, and that has taken its toll, too, in the emotional pressure-cooker of these past few years.

Externally, matters are a little better now. But inside, now that the adrenaline reaction is past, I feel shriveled up and not particularly useful to anyone. I find what helps most is regular sleep when I can get it, B complex vitamins, reading psalms, evenings watching scifi shows with my wife (though she may be in pain), the laughter of my children, and a lot of writing. In telling stories, I create my own heroes, flawed as they are, to emulate. Father Polycarp hears the heavy tread of the beast Despair on the grimy stones in the alley at his back, hears the winter-cold whisper of its voice, and yet gets to his feet again, each time. Rahel never gives up; she is relentless in protecting and providing for her disabled child. Zadok is willing to chance a run through a field of hundreds of hungry dead because the woman he loves needs that from him. Yirmiyahu, though everything—everything—is ripped from him, keeps his eyes on his mission.

The worst of it is the sharp edge of self-criticism at feeling depression. Depression, after all, might be expected after the tremendous upheavals I and my family have gone through, these past few years. But though it might be expected, it is not rational. The lies my subconscious whispers to me are not rational. So I am harsh with myself: You are depressed, so you are even more worthless.

That digs me in deeper.

Sad as I am at Robin Williams’ passing (may he find peace), it is a strange comfort to know that he wrestled with the dark hours of the night, too. If a man who made as many people laugh as he did, or who touched as many hearts, can wrestle with depression (and to the deep, deep extent that he clearly did), then maybe feeling depressed is not so damning, after all. If my own St. Polycarp in What Our Eyes Have Witnessed wrestled so deeply with depression and yet worked tirelessly to feed the living and redeem the restless dead, then perhaps it is possible to feel worthless sometimes AND YET lovingly provide for your family and yet do great things. Or at least good things.

One thing I know, at least. Whether or not that whisper in the dark hours is lying or truthful when it names me failure, I am all that my daughters have. So I will have to be enough. (And in the language of faith, I would add: Here God has bid me stand, and he evidently loves me and feels that I am enough.)

Writing helps. Even writing this post has helped.

To stay on my feet, I will write, as I always do. Feeling gray, I will go make some beauty. Feeling gray and faded, I will go make some colors.

From No Lasting Burial: “In a cruel world, a boy or a man must find beauty where he can, or hunt after it until he does. Or else the hard edges of life will gut him as a man guts a fish, and toss him wriggling to die in the sand.”

Stant Litore

Things are actually fairly good this season, objectively speaking, though I do bear the weariness of a long, long battle for my daughter’s health. Depression comes without reason and sometimes without obvious cause, and it is an unwelcome guest. When it visits, I throw open the windows and gaze out at unspeakable beauty and let in the howling winter wind and then write fiercely with cold, cramped hands, keeping myself warm with stories while old Despair gets too chilled and disgruntled and finally plods back out of the house the way it came in. Then I shut the windows up, wrap myself in a blanket, and stoke the coals in the fire to fresh flame. Shivering, I warm my hands.

Or I turn up some music and listen to the laughter of my children.

Despair is a shriveled little thing, a deceitful whisper. Its tread sounds heavy, but if you could truly turn and look at it, the old beast would appear as little more than a half-drowned, waterlogged rat, and no terrible behemoth after all.

But since I cannot see it so clearly, I tell stories. Despair’s whisper may be compelling, but not nearly as compelling as Polycarp’s strong compassion, or Yeshua’s insistence that God weeps with us in the desert for every empty belly and every broken heart, or Yeptha’s daughter throwing her arms wide beneath the stars when she reaches the roof of the world, or Rahel’s dauntless loyalty to her sons, or Koach’s ferocious desire to make beautiful things.

On no night of this world will Despair’s whisper ever be more compelling than those things.

Stant Litore

Stant Litore is a novelist. He writes about gladiators on tyrannosaurback, Old Testament prophets battling the hungry dead, geneticists growing biological starships, time-traveling hijabi bisexual defenders of humanity from the future. Explore his fiction here. And here is one of his toolkits for writers, and here’s another book where he nerds out about ancient languages and biblical (mis)translation. Enjoy!

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A Green Olive Tree

Olive Trees in Athens

“But I am like a green olive tree in the house of God.”

That is a piece of a very, very old song, one of the oldest.

And it is a thanksgiving thought that I will hold near tonight. Because despite all the difficult and fearful moments in the last few years, I do indeed feel that I am like a green olive tree in the house of God.

In a spirit of gratitude, I wish you all a happy Thanksgiving. Here’s to good harvests and good company.

Stant Litore

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Update on Inara’s Story; also Why, Late at Night, When Everyone is Asleep, I Write So Fiercely

Here’s the most recent news about my youngest daughter: We now have a tentative diagnosis of MMPSI (http://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/condition/malignant-migrating-partial-seizures-of-infancy) and are awaiting genetic tests to confirm. Basically, MMPSI is a random genetic mutation that causes seizures that migrate across the brain, occurring in sequential clusters of dozens of seizures, and cause brain scarring and developmental delay – exactly the story of Inara’s first six months with us. In most cases, the seizures prove impossible to control, babies don’t respond to treatment, and most don’t survive their first 16 months.

Inara survived.

The good news is that because after her first six months Inara did begin respond to treatment, she has been gradually stabilizing and also correcting her developmental delay and learning new skills, a little at a time. If her diagnosis of MMPSI is confirmed by genetic testing, then we’ll finally have more of a story of why her first six months were so touch-and-go, and, more importantly, we’ll have the comfort of knowing that because she made it through her first 16 months, the condition is likely to continue lessening with time.

Inara’s survival is rare, and my wife and I feel very blessed. (And also thankful for the support and encouragement of my readers, of our church, and of my coworkers and colleagues who visited us during our frequent hospital stays, brought meals, and donated personal time-off so that I could stay at my daughter’s side when things were touch-and-go.) I don’t have the words to say how stressful and, at times, terrifying Inara’s condition has been. In 2012, we truly didn’t know if Inara would make it; we just believed in her, stayed by her bedside, fought for her, loved her, and tried to “keep it together.” This is also why, late at night when everyone is in bed, I write my fiction so fiercely and fast; it is a way of speaking my pain and my love to the world; it is a way of staring at the possibility of loss without flinching, a way of keeping it together:

I sat in that hospital by her bedside, in the cold of winter. It was warm enough in that carefully sterile place, but I felt cold. I felt angry. I felt exhausted, and determined. The wind that rattled the windows one night seemed to hurl against the hospital glass all the moaning horror and shrieking of the shedim.

Now my daughter is improving, and we are on the other side of that time together. Yet those nights by her bed are recent in my heart, and they hurt. I don’t know what this past year has meant, only that the love I now hold for those I call my own is fiercer than anything I have ever felt. I have learned that hope, which I had thought small and delicate like a moth in the night, can be hard as steel, a blade with which you cut your way through a press of moaning and hungry foes.

– from the afterword to No Lasting Burial

A friend of Inara’s, a beautiful little child who attended the Anchor Center for Blind Children with her and is about a year younger than Inara, passed away this summer from a condition with similar symptoms; Dahlia Blue’s seizures remained uncontrollable and eventually killed her. It was a very hard thing for my family to see—a picture of what might easily have happened with our own daughter—and it was hard seeing the grieving of Dahlia’s family.

The news today is that Inara continues to have microseizures but her condition remains controlled, that we are awaiting genetic tests and a second EMU (several-day-long Epilepsy Monitoring Unit at the hospital) to monitor her brain activity, and that Inara is learning to pull herself up to stand and even take her first assisted steps, she is starting to vocalize, and she has a fierce joy of life and a fierce desire to move about and do the things big sister can do, too. And she inspires us. Jessica and I live our days in mingled anxiety, fatigue, and joy. So far, the outlook appears to be a positive one.

Inara_Anchor_2
Inara, exhausted after physical therapy.

There will still be challenges ahead, and not only medical ones. We wheeled Inara about in a little wheelchair on Halloween evening and were dismayed by how many people shrank away from or pointedly ignored the ‘handicapped kid,’ though our hearts rose at the way one young man bounded down his porch steps and crouched next to Inara to chat with her, and at the way her older sister River kept bringing candy to her. Jessica parks handicapped and several times each week is berated or cussed out by some belligerent stranger who, seeing my wife step from the car looking apparently healthy and able, lets her have it without realizing there is also a child with a wheelchair in the car. These are small matters, but they make me wince when I worry how Inara will be treated by others as she grows. Yet our main story is that Inara is alive and, for now, thriving and happy. She is feisty and strong-willed. Her middle name, Cahira, is Irish for “warrior.”

November is Epilepsy Awareness Month, and once a year my wife hand-crafts purple ribbons for friends to wear and makes a video sharing Inara’s story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51u77VL_dfc. Each November is a celebration that Inara fought and won another year. November 15 will be her third birthday.

This post is meant to catch everyone up on the story – especially as many of you, coworkers and readers and patrons alike, were there with us back at the beginning, or have been there to offer encouragement and support since. Thank you.

My wife and I are beginning to hope that Inara is now “out of the woods.” It is too early to be sure, and we are vigilant, especially with Inara’s current microseizures. But this is certainly our most hopeful season in a long time, and this year we are approaching the holidays with a much more celebratory spirit.

Stant Litore

P.S. You can read the earlier chapters of Inara’s story here, and if you would like to support my fiction and our care for Inara, you can do that here.

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My Daughter’s Story: Something to Watch, Something to Remember

Once a year, in November (epilepsy awareness month), my wife Jessica makes a video celebrating another year of little Inara’s fight, and spends a few evenings making purple ribbons for people to wear, and many more evenings talking about epilepsy research and awareness. Epilepsy is one of the least understood health conditions. In far more than half the cases, there is no underlying diagnosis, no known cause for the condition.

Jessica and I are still working with geneticists to confirm a recent guess, but as yet Inara does not have a definitive diagnosis either. Just a long list of symptoms.

An estimated 3 million Americans live with epilepsy. Inara is one of them.

But she is very fierce, her birthday is in a few days, and we have much to celebrate this year. We were told that Inara would never stand. She is standing. We were told she would never walk. She is taking her first assisted steps. We were told she would probably never talk. Well, she is not talking yet, but she is building an impressive vocabularly of nonverbal sounds and signs, and we believe in her.

This is my wife’s tribute to our daughter and this year’s epilepsy awareness video. I’ll be wearing a lot of purple this month. Purple isn’t only the color signifying epilepsy awareness. In many cultures, it is the color of healing and life, the vibrant color. It is Inara’s color.

Stant Litore

You can read more of the story of Inara in Lives of Unstoppable Hope.

Stant Litore is a novelist. He writes about gladiators on tyrannosaurback, Old Testament prophets battling the hungry dead, geneticists growing biological starships, time-traveling hijabi bisexual defenders of humanity from the future. Explore his fiction here. And here is one of his toolkits for writers, and here’s another book where he nerds out about ancient languages and biblical (mis)translation. Enjoy!

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All the Voices of Water

She sang in all the voices of water, calling for water, calling to water, calling all water’s names. She sounded like rain in the wheat. She sounded like the roar of water over the brink of the earth. She sounded like a stone dropped into a smooth, still pool. All those names she called. None answered.

– from Dante’s Heart: https://stantlitore.com/product/dantes-heart/
Art by Roberto Calas.

Illustration5_1000

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Update about Inara

Met with the epileptologist.

It turns out my daughter is having little seizures again — mostly just partial complex (staring spells), and uncontrolled fits of giggling. The giggle fits are adorable, but the epileptologist notes that what’s actually happening there is a rare kind of seizure. Inara will burst into hysterical giggles for a minute, then suck in a deep breath and become aware of her surroundings again. The good news is that her current seizure activity is relatively non-dangerous, compared to everything she has endured in the past (the grand mal, the tonic clonic seizures, etc.). Sometime soon, she is going to have another EMU with wires attached to her head for a few days to monitor. The other good news is that having witnessed both types of seizure activity during the appointment, the epileptologist has a theory about what rare genetic disorder Inara has. She is adding a specific genetic test in addition to her whole exome testing to check for it. If the epileptologist’s guess is correct, then the disorder is one that (a) improves with time and (b) is due to a random genetic mutation and is not a hereditary condition. That means that if Jessica and I have a third child some day, nor when our daughters have children, the condition will not be passed on. (This also probably explains why the condition is so rare and proving so difficult to identify and diagnose.) We will see if the epileptologist’s guess is right.

So there has been a lot of news to take in. It is alarming that we are seeing seizure activity again, but there is more good news on the table than bad, for now.

Now it is time to wait, and wait, and wait for genetic test results.

Which means it is time to go write.

Stant Litore

You can read more of the story of Inara in Lives of Unstoppable Hope.

Stant Litore is a novelist. He writes about gladiators on tyrannosaurback, Old Testament prophets battling the hungry dead, geneticists growing biological starships, time-traveling hijabi bisexual defenders of humanity from the future. Explore his fiction here. And here is one of his toolkits for writers, and here’s another book where he nerds out about ancient languages and biblical (mis)translation. Enjoy!

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We Need Larger Hearts: Part II

SadGirl

I repost this article, “Distorted Love: The Toll of Our Christian Theology on the LGBT Community,” here not to spark debate or even discussion (honestly, I’m way too exhausted to do my part effectively in a debate), but because this pastor’s message moved me deeply, and I really think that all of my religious brothers and sisters, regardless of what they think about LGBT and regardless of their theology, need to read this. Because this reminds us why we’re in our faith in the first place. It reminds us what’s important. And it delivers a very deep and needed conviction to those of us who believe we are called to be the active hands and feet of a living God. It reminds us that one of the most immediate issues of our time is not an “issue,” it’s not about politics, it’s about people. It is about individual, hurting, suffering, loving, beautiful people. The founder and perfecter of our faith taught that we are known by our fruit, by the outcomes of what we believe, feel, say, and do. This is not something we can ever afford to forget!

For clarity’s sake, and for full disclosure (because I know this is politically and emotionally charged for many), I will say that I do not believe that sexual orientation is a sin — nor have I seen any evidence that it is somehow a “choice,” as pundits tend to claim — nor do I think that is an accurate conclusion from what is taught in the New Testament. I think some religious people in our contemporary society do get very hung up about what they think of various sex acts and they forget that what is at stake is relationships. They forget that the theological and ethical position that is at most at issue is whether we truly believe — or not — that all people are made in the image of God. We also tend to forget that when Jesus loved the downtrodden or the disinherited or the outcasts, he didn’t go the Pharisees and the pundits and listen to their moral opinion about those people’s lives. No, he got up, walked to their homes, had dinner with them, spent time with them, loved them, and listened to them.

I have friends who are LGBT. I have dinner with them. I witness their loving, beautiful, committed relationships. I have friends who are straight. I have dinner with them. I witness their loving, beautiful, committed relationships.

But even if I *did* believe, as many religious people do, that so many of my brothers and sisters on this earth are “living in sin,” this article would still convict my heart. In fact, far more so. It would be even more important that I listen to what this man has to say.

This pastor has said things I’ve said before many times, but he has said these things with far greater compassion and wisdom than I can lay claim to. I share his post for reading and for reflection, not for debate — because this is not the kind of post for debating. It is something to let sit in the heart for a while.

If you are one of my religious friends or readers and you disagree with everything I’ve said here, I hope you will not unfollow or unfriend me for posting this, nor stop reading my books, nor stop reading my blog. I hope you will read the article with me. I hope you will sit with me a while as I pray.

Stant Litore

(Earlier post: We Need Larger Hearts, Part I)

Stant Litore is a novelist. He writes about gladiators on tyrannosaurback, Old Testament prophets battling the hungry dead, geneticists growing biological starships, time-traveling hijabi bisexual defenders of humanity from the future. Explore his fiction here. And here is one of his toolkits for writers, and here’s another book where he nerds out about ancient languages and biblical (mis)translation. Enjoy!

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What Happens to My First Drafts

When I am finished with editing a draft and no longer need the physical pages I’ve been working with, I hand them over to my oldest daughter, River, who proceeds to use them as raw materials for her own art:

River_drafts_1

Sometimes she asks me to help, as in this case: “Draw a tree. And River and Inara are on a swing. And Daddy and Mommy are in the grass reading a book. And Mommy wants cake. And there’s a house in the grass.” Shown here, River is adding her friends from preschool to the left of the house Daddy drew. Because it is a big house, clearly, and we all live there together. She looks very happy.

Sometimes, we get out paint, and River paints on the drafts instead. It’s a gooey mess,  but tremendous fun.

River_drafts_2

That is actually an old, old, old draft of Death Has Come Up into Our Windows, which I had no idea was still hanging around in River’s box of coloring papers and art supplies. She’s been drawing shapes and squiggles and swingsets on old drafts of No Lasting Burial all year…

It makes me happy, seeing the drafts put to this use.

While you’re on the page, here’s a gratuitous photo of me and baby Inara during our last hospital trip:

Stant_and_Inara5

May your week be beautiful and full of hope, dear readers.

Mine is. Inara is doing much better. And as for her mother and me, this is the first month since last year that we don’t feel immediate and crushing financial pressure. Huge thanks to my readers (for buying my books and sharing word of them!) and to my patrons on Patreon, who are making an enormous difference. (And thank you to many in my church who helped my family through our rough winter.) I can actually breathe, plan the next few months of publishing, commission the services I need, and begin planning to move my family to a new, safer place. I am grateful. Those of you who are reading my books, I wish you hours of great reading. Those of you who are supporting me on Patreon, thank you. I couldn’t do this without you.

Stant Litore

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Inara, With Attitude

My daughter Inara — who is doing better by the week — has feistiness and attitude enough for twenty children.

Here she is practicing her teenager look:

Inara_Glum

Here she is practicing her summer look:

Inara_summer

Here she is practicing her philosopher look:

Inara_recovery7

Here she is practicing her I am a puppy look:

Inara_playing

And here she is, just happy. Also in the photo, her OT (occupational therapist):

Inara_and_OT

To read more of Inara’s story, click here. And to support Inara’s and her father’s journey, visit me on Patreon.

Stant Litore

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The Meaning of “Sacred”

If you’ve read my series The Zombie Bible, you know that I’m deeply interested in how language shapes (and is shaped by) religion. In No Lasting Burial, I made much of the difference between the Latin and Greek words for peace; pax connotes order, discipline, and the absence of violence, whereas eirene connotes being “woven together”; the Hebrew shalom connotes wholeness and rightness, the way things ought to be. Very different concepts! In fact, striving for pax and striving for eirene might lead you to opposite places.

In my current work in progress, By a Slender Thread, I’m concerned, among other things, with the idea of the sacred. Here, too, the language makes a big difference.

Rome: Sacra

Roman religion begins at the hearth, and the most sacred places are the shrine within the house and the tomb of one’s ancestors, connected to or adjacent to the house. The Roman villa has windows facing inward on an interior garden, not outward; outward-facing is the wall. And the Romans used the word sacra, which means “inviolate.” In the days of the Roman Republic, rituals were to be sacra; they might be intricate and involved, and if a priest so much as stuttered one syllable, you had to start over. The Vestal Virgins were to be inviolate; a Vestal caught with a lover was buried alive. That which is sacra must be preserved intact, virginal, unchanging, set apart, and walled off from the mundane or the profane. Even the sound of the word, while beautiful, has a latent violence to it: sacra! “If you touch my hearth without my permission, I will cut you.”

Greece: Hagios

The religions of ancient Greece often found the holy site to be outside the home, even outside the city. Where a Roman looks to the hearth, the Greeks head out to the forest for a bacchanal or undertake a pilgrimage to an oracle. Hagios means “other,” “different,” “set apart.” Though the Greeks often anthropomorphized their gods, like many cultures of the Near East they were impressed by the profound otherness of the gods. Where Romans worship deities that are ultimately apotheoses of the hearth and of family values and virtues, Greeks found the holy in the lighting bolt that shocks open a tree, in the surge of waves on the shore, in the mad gallop of a great horse across the sand. The religions of the Near East repeat, again and again, that the gods’ ways are not our ways, that the gods are not at all like us. They are other, they are different, and that which is holy is that which is profoundly different from our daily lives or our daily knowledge and uniquely worthy of respect. That is hagios. Even the sound of the word has a breathless quality, a sense of awe at the unexpected: “ah, wow, that is ha -gi – os.” The New Testament word that we translate “saints” is hoi hagioi, those who are “other,” those who are different, those who are in the world but not of it.

Israel: Kadosh and Kavod

The ancient Hebrews raised their Tent of Meeting, their tabernacle, outside and apart from the tents of the people, for fear that their uncleanness would arouse the wrath of God, provoking fire to rage among the tents. Best to have distance. Best to have veils between the people and God. Best if a priest went through seven days of purification ritual before approaching that which is holy. Kadosh means set apart, “separate.” God is separate, and the Hebrew people were to be separate. In the prophetic texts, we find kadosh linked with kavod, which we usually translate “glory” but which actually means “heavy.” The presence of God is immense, heavy, weighty; it might fill and overwhelm a space; it might crush you beneath it. What is kavod and kadosh must be approached with fear and trembling; you must take off your sandals in its presence, and not walk shod on holy ground. The divine may be so separate and so weighty that you should not speak its name lightly nor write it; it is entirely set apart.

Old English: Halig

A scholar friend of mine parsed our own word “holy” as coming from halig, which means “whole,” “wholesome, “healthy.” Sacred rituals and sites are tied to the body and the health of the body; it is the body, specifically, that must be inviolate, that must be kept whole and strong. When the gospels are translated into Old English, we find a version of Christ who is halig, who stands strong by the cross, unburdens himself of his clothing (symbolically disarming himself), and then leaps onto the cross like a warrior leaping to battle. The holy site, pre-Christianity, might be a mighty and healthy tree, growing strong.

Words Have Power

The words we use shape the directions in which we can think. Are our own holy texts and rites sacra, hagia, kadosh, or halig? They may be some combination of the above — but where we place priority matters. Sacra, taken to an extreme, takes you to complex and intricate ritual that cannot be altered. It leads you to a reading of the text as inerrant, inviolate, and resistant to alternate interpretation. Hagios/hagia, taken to an extreme, leads to the ecstatic and individual religious experience, speaking in tongues, dancing naked before the Ark. Something that is sacra must be preserved and protected, and every encounter with it is an encounter with the ancient and unchanged; something that is hagia must be witnessed and experienced in ecstasy and bewildered reverence, and every encounter with it is a new experience; something that is kadosh must be bowed to, humbly, revered and feared, and one must be cautious in speaking of it or naming it.

When we say that a text or a ritual or a place is “holy” or “sacred,” what do we actually mean? And where does that meaning take us? How does it shape our experience of and response to the holy, and the manner in which we share that experience communally?

It is good to think about this.

I am thinking a lot about this.

Stant Litore

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Sometimes, You Have a Perfect Evening

…and that is, itself, a thing worth celebrating.

This was mine:

Leaving the office, I took a few moments to watch rabbits eating beneath the hedge — it was peaceful. Then my wife picked me up at work, I came home and bought her a couple of hours to rest. First I read The Lord of the Rings to Inara while feeding her through her G tube. Then I built castles out of blocks with River. Then the toy chest turned into a starving monster and River had to feed it all the blocks, laughing the whole time, cleaning up while the toy chest roared happily, “Om nom nom nom nom!” Then I put River and Inara to bed. I took 45 minutes to polish a scene in the next Zombie Bible novel, and then took dinner and an evening of gaming with my wife. Finally, before bed, I checked on the girls and found River awake and staring out the window at a full moon. “Daddy, it’s a big moon! Can I see it closer?” She made binoculars with her hands, watched the moon, and pronounced solemnly, “Astronauts go to the moon.”

Yes, River. Yes they do.

I am thankful for my girls.

Stant Litore

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The Poetics of Faith

A lot of confusion is generated in conversations about religion because some people regard Christianity as a metaphysics (a set of truth statements about being), while others regard Christianity, at least implicitly, as a poetics (a way of describing and articulating the longing or prayer for the impossible) and as an ethics (a way of articulating our response to that poetics).

New Atheists of Dawkins’ school and fundamentalists (especially American ones) go at it tooth and nail over metaphysical propositions, while many everyday Christians (at least outside the Bible Belt) shrug and go about their day, being more moved by the poetics than they are concerned with the metaphysics. The fundamentalists and the atheists regard these Christians as wishy-washy on their religion, but they are nothing but; many of them are passionate in their faith, many of them are people who pray, many of them found orphanages or do missions work or teach at inner-city schools. They may not be passive or wishy-washy at all. They are just driven by the need to respond to a poetic call for love, forgiveness, justice, and faith … rather than being driven by the need to establish or defend a set of metaphysical propositions.

If Christianity is to be experienced primarily as a metaphysics, then it tends to remain abstract and universal; it is concerned with truth claims (to be either defended or debunked by logic). These are claims that we exist within a specific cosmic hierarchy, that there is an omnipotent being governing that hierarchy, and that there are moral dictates or universals that apply in all cases, to all situations. In this metaphysics, the demand on us is the altar call: the transaction that transitions you from one point to a different point within the cosmology.

If Christianity is to be experienced primarily as a poetics and an ethics, then it remains concrete and individual; it is concerned with a call written into ancient texts, a call for justice, forgiveness, love, and faith, and an invitation for a response. It is concerned with how individuals and communities respond to that call and the choices they make, which are interpretive choices: what does my life mean, what could it mean? Is it possible to forgive/be forgiven? If the “kingdom of heaven” is within me, then how might I pray, how might I live, how might I love?

In a metaphysics, Christianity is about the language of power: it is about absolute truth, and it is about assigning fealty accordingly.

In a poetics, Christianity is about the language of prayer: it is about conceiving of and praying for the impossible, it is about hope and crying out in the dark when nothing is certain and everything is provisional, it is about living each day as a gift independently of worry for the future or bitterness at the past, it is about grace, and it is about metanoia, the transformation of the heart.

A metaphysics can generate such statements as, “A hurricane just hit New Orleans. God is punishing America for harboring lesbians and pagans.” A poetics can generate such statements as, “God would weep for the suffering in Louisiana. I will go there and help.”

A metaphysics treats sacred texts as a set of logical propositions that are illustrated by stories and poems. A poetics treats sacred texts as a set of stories and poems that provoke a response. (An emotional, hermeneutical, and ethical response.)*

This strikes me as the root of a lot of confusion over religion today.

It’s also why, each time I find myself a party to a conversation between New Atheists and fundamentalists, I feel like a theatre-goer listening in on a passionate debate over whether Shakespeare was really Shakespeare or who wrote the plays or from what authority they come. I just want to shake them both and say, “Dudes, you’re both missing the point. This is A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Seriously. You debate all you like. I’m moved, and I need to respond. I’m going to go kiss my wife and cook her dinner.”
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* Footnote: Here I am adapting my understanding of a “poetics of the impossible” from John Caputo.

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Inara is Doing Better!

After her G tube surgery, Inara is rounder, has more color, and is much more active and energetic. Shown here, she is using her walker at the Anchor Center for Blind Children. (Her vision is improving, too.) She is working on moving backward…probably so she can keep a cautious eye on all those grownups in front of her. They need looking after.

Inara_Anchor_1
She did eventually get very tired…

Inara_Anchor_2

But I am so proud of her! She has come a long, long way since her anxious and emergency-ridden first year.

You can read Inara’s story here.

Stant Litore

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Preparing for the Long Dark of Moria

I have been reading The Lord of the Rings to my daughter Inara, who has spent most the week in the hospital. Together, we have sat at the Council of Elrond and debated what to do with the doom of the earth; we have heard wolves howling in the cold; and we have prepared ourselves for the long dark of Moria. In this respect, it has been a good week.

Stant_and_Inara

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A Year on Fire

When I step back and look at all of my confirmed 2014 releases (so far), all of them highly reviewed… I will remember this as the year of a LOT OF WRITING. By all that’s holy and beautiful, a LOT of writing. I usually do one or two releases a year.

Evidently, this year I am on fire.

litore_nlb_small1  Ansible Ansible15716_small Dantes_Heart  IWHMDC_Litore

No Lasting Burial, originally released in serial episodes, was released in full by 47North in April 2014. Ansible 15715, a Westmarch Publishing release, made its appearance at the end of April to considerable acclaim, and Ansible 15716 in June. I Will Hold My Death Close will be forthcoming from 47North on August 26 (available for pre-order now) in a kindle edition and in an audiobook narrated by the wonderful actress Amy McFadden, and Dante’s Heart is forthcoming from Westmarch Publishing in October.

Lest I forget, I’m also included in this 2014-released omnibus:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00I13V3L8

DeadMan

And in January, I helped my friend Christine Emmert release her lyrical take on the Middle Ages and the search for paradise:

NunsDragon_Final_Lilith

No wonder I feel breathless!

Stay tuned … more to come.

Want to support my work (and keep me sane)? Come see me on Patreon:

http://www.patreon.com/stantlitore

Stant Litore

 

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Awakened at Midnight

When I ever need a refresher, I step outside and find somewhere quiet, and I read Sam Hamill’s translation of Japanese haiku: quiet reminders that the smallest things can evoke an entire world of feeling and memory. I breathe deeper, I write more creatively, I try to live more creatively, when I take the time to notice just a single blade of grass, or to pray in silence, feeling the wind on my face. I try to stop and notice when something flits by — a dragonfly in a flash of blue wings, or the sound of a child’s laugh somewhere far away — something that can make me wake up just a little, for a moment.

Awakened at midnight
by the sound of the water jar
cracking from the ice

– Basho