From Russia, with Puppies

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Dear Trump, Jr:

In the future, if you want the American people to regard your emails about meeting secretly with Russian operatives to discuss how the Russian government can influence your country’s election…as harmless and not at all questionable or unethical or potentially treasonous, you might want to at least edit your subject line.

“Russia – Clinton – private and confidential” = not a good subject line for you.

Try something more innocent-sounding, like “Puppies” or possibly “From Russia, With Puppies” or possibly “Can Putin give me puppies to cuddle?”

Just a suggestion. Just don’t take it too far. “Puppies dipped in vodka and dressed in American flags then devoured raw by me and Ivanka at the next full moon” = too far. “Can haz free Kremlin puppy cuddles?” = better.

Dear Congress:

GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY HEALTHCARE, YOU GREEDY OLD GOATS.