A Life Full of Books


I may have had a weird childhood.

Other 2nd grader: “Whatcha reading?”
Me: “Beowulf.”
Other 2nd grader: “What’s it about?”
Me: “There’s this monster who is really really quiet and he sneaks into the hall and pops everyone into a sack and takes them home and eats them.”
Other 2nd grader: “Cool!!!”
5th grader: “Nerd.” *pummels me into the sandpit*

Other 3rd grader: “Whatcha reading?”
Me: “The Faerie Queene. It has a dragon in it, and when his feet stomp, mountains crumble. His tail is a mile long and the whole land is full of smoke because there’s so much fire.”
Other 3rd grader: “That’s so cool!!!”
5th grader: “Nerd.” *pummels me into the sandpit*

Other 4th grader: “Whatcha reading?”
Me: “Dune. It has giant worms and desert fighters and everything. But I just finished The Lord of the Rings, and you have to read that first. It’s so good. There’s wizards and a magic ring and a BALROG. Here, here’s The Hobbit. This is the first one. Read it.”
5th grader: “Nerd…”
Me: “I will hit you with this book. It is hardcover, 1100 pages long, and will smash your skull like an Orc’s.”
5th grader: “oooo, sooo scary…” *doesn’t advance*

Me: “Have you made it to The Two Towers yet?”
Other 4th grader: “I’m in the part about the trolls.”
Me: “You’re going sooo slow. Hurry! You have to read it!”

Me: “Did you make it to the Ents yet?”
Other 4th grader: “Bilbo is in the mountains and there are goblins. It’s kind of hard to read.”
Me: “WHAT? It’s awesome! You have to read it! READ IT READ IT READ IT” *accidentally pummels other kid into sandpit with excitement*
Other kid: “Help! Help! Get the bookworm off me! Help!”

Stant Litore

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