Just to Be Clear, the Pyramids Were Full of Dead People, Not Grain


Because my feed is just exploding with it, I’ll just quietly say: Nope. The pyramids in the valley of Giza are not, and were never, grain silos. The Egyptians had other structures for storing mass quantities of grain — such as actual grain silos. The pyramids, on the other hand, are mostly solid brick with a few small chambers beneath, and those chambers used to be full of dead people, until we stole all the dead people and propped them up behind glass in museums and private collections. Setting aside the ghoulishness of that for a moment, we don’t generally put dead people in our grain silos. Not even famous dead people. Not even in Nebraska. If you ask a Nebraska wheat farmer if there are any dead Kardashians in his grain silos, I suspect he will look at you rather funny. The ancient Egyptians didn’t put Kardashians or Hiltons or Reagans in their grain silos, either. It just isn’t sanitary. The ancient Egyptians were sticklers for health and sanitation. In fact, they were so squicked out by lice that they shaved their heads and wore wigs rather than deal with the little bugs. They invented brain surgery. They weren’t likely to put dead bodies in underground grain silos. Besides which, The Attack of the Mummy is a much more entertaining story than The Attack of the Grain, so even for entertainment value, tombs win over grain silos.

Stant Litore

One thought on “Just to Be Clear, the Pyramids Were Full of Dead People, Not Grain

Leave a Reply